let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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