is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
My cat gives me a boner
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
