I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
