I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
