just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Randomize
