chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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