yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
