i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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