apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
