a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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