Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
