I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Even my vagina gasped.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Randomize
