Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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