there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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