apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
