dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize
