I must be too annoying 4 u.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
