He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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