school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
