Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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