piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Found your dick twin last night
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
