I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
