am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
