Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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