she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Randomize
