I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
