my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
