I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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