Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
