its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
The feeling are messing with the penis
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
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