she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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