I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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