Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
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