I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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