My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
