i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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