Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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