I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
