your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
i already hear my dad disowning me
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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