i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
