My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
