he shaved USA in his pubs
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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