Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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