Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
