Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
