not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
