i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
We left an ass print on the piano.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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