does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
