oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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