marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
